Day 348

A friend recently asked me, "What are you giving up for the Camino?" My response. "Everything." And oh, how I have felt the enormity of that this week. So many goodbyes, so much letting go. Spanish class is over. I'm moving all of my stuff into storage in two days. And I have found my cat a new home where I hope she will be happy. I'm not good at goodbyes, or even see-you-laters. But they are a part of the cycle. Let Go, To Receive. There are blessings that come with all of the loss. For that, for all of it, I am grateful.

Speaking of blessings... With only about 5 or 6 Spanish classes remaining, out of the blue one day, Alex suggested that, together, we start reading his favorite book, 'The Alchemist'. In Spanish. I immediately, jumped at the chance. Throughout all of my Spanish classes, I had never been able to fully let go of my doubt that I was truly able to learn this language, but here I was, ready to read an entire book in Spanish, without a doubt in my mind that I could do it. He said we wouldn't be able to get very far with the little time we had left, but in his opinion, it would be a good experience for me to try.

That day, I went to Barnes & Noble and I bought the Spanish version of the book, then I went home and I re-read the English version, which I had read once before, a few years ago. The first time I read the book, I recognized its symbology and its deeper meaning, but I wasn't fully ready back then for all the book had to offer. This time I was. It is a story of a young man who gives up everything to take a long journey in order to find his purpose in life. Sound familiar? Basically, it's a guidebook teaching me how to do all that I'm about to do. It arrived in my life with perfect timing. Just when I needed, and would appreciate it, the most.

Before my next class with Alex, I began to read the Spanish version. There were things I didn't understand, but for the most part, I was actually reading a book in another language. My confidence level soared. For the first time, I realized the incredible amount of Spanish I had learned in just six months. In class, Alex would read to me, then I would read to him. Then we would talk about the ideas and the spirituality of the book. I was able to discuss deep, philosophical ideas in Spanish. I wasn't perfect at it, and I still needed help, but I got the point across. Not only has the book managed to bring to light some of the things I needed to learn before my trip, it has also convinced me, in the perfect manner, that I do indeed understand Spanish.

Although we both knew we wouldn't get very far in the time we had left, we finished much more than either of us expected. The book is broken into two parts. For some reason it became very important to me to finish Part 1 before my final class was over. I was so proud of myself, when in that final class, we read the last page of Part 1 and closed our books. Sixty-six pages in that short amount of time was impressive. Part 1 was all about the preparation for the journey. The trial and error, the lessons and the letting go. It wasn't hard to recognize the symbology of finishing that part of the book at my last class. Alex had taken me as far as he could. He had helped me to prepare for what was to come, but now it was up to me to take it from there. The journey itself was mine, and mine alone.

And then Alex opened his book again and said, "You want to read a little further?" NO! What about the symbolic end I had just so perfectly orchestrated? This isn't how it's supposed to happen. I'd already written the script in my head. This is the fade to black part. But I didn't say any of that. Instead I said, "Sure." We read a few pages into Part 2, and that was that. It was over. El fin. That night, the significance of those extra few pages suddenly became very clear. Although Alex had accompanied me as far as he could, to the end of my Part 1, the tools he had given me over the past six months, would continue with me into my Part 2. I am so grateful to have had the chance to work with him and to add him to my list of friends. Because of him, I know more Spanish than I thought possible and I've learned things about backpacking that only someone with his level of experience could teach. This was no coincidence.

It's almost time for me to continue on into the great unknown of Part 2. At the beginning of each class, when it was time to get into the lesson of the day, Alex would say, "Listo?" Ready? And I'd very hesitantly say, "Si....." But you know what? I am ready. I am.