Monday, June 10, 2013

June 9, 2013

I started out the day tired and sick to my stomach. No surprise after the night I had last night. I woke up from bad dreams about 3am that, in reality, turned out to be old memories. Memories best left forgotten, but left forgotten, never healed.

When you bury a bad memory from your past, rather than dealing with it as it happens, you bury with it all of its toxic energy. It is this toxicity that often later reveals itself in sickness and disease.

I have been lucky. I have buried many unpleasant memories, many of which haunted me last night. But none of that negativity has made me seriously ill. Yet. I can only imagine that if I didn't release them, eventually I would have had to pay the price. Instead, I have been offered both the time and the opportunity to bring them to the surface and let them go. The Camino has given me that gift. Although the work is difficult, and at times painful, I will be eternally grateful for this experience.

A few minutes ago, I mentioned to someone that time was going by more quickly than I expected, but when I looked back on it all, it seemed I've been here an eternity. He said, "Maybe that's because we are living more fully in each moment." Hmmm. I like that explanation.

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