There are no words to describe the weekend I just spent in Ohio. I am going to give it my best shot in my next two blogs. Just remember, no matter how well I describe it, it was better. I've had a lot of life-changing experiences lately. I now understand that although I have done some pretty incredible things, it's not the experiences themselves so much as my willingness to allow the experiences to make a difference in my life.
When I visited Ohio last September, I noticed a sign on the road for skydiving. I had never before considered skydiving, but for some reason, I thought, "Hmmm, that might be fun to do someday..." I never imagined I would actually do it. Until I did. One day a couple of weeks ago, while on a walk, I remembered that sign. I knew I was returning to Ohio for an event, and something just kept nagging at me. Do it. DO it. DO IT! It seems these days when I make a decision and say I am going to do something, it just falls into place. No questions asked. No energy wasted on doubts and regrets. So I made the plan. I signed up. I even talked a friend into jumping with me. I'm not sure he knew how serious I was.
"Are you really gonna do this?!"
"Yes. You wanna go along?"
"Hell yeah!"
Five minutes later, I told him, "It's booked. No turning back."
His response, "Shit."
My soul wanted to do this thing, however it seemed my mind had other plans. On my way to the airfield, with plenty of time to get there, I got horribly lost. Even my "smart" phone couldn't find my location, so it was no help. Looking back, I realize it was all simply a test of my determination and I passed. I arrived at the skydiving office exactly on time, despite the fact that the clock in my car had told me I was late while I was still lost somewhere in Middletown. I agreed to die if it was my time to go and to hold them harmless if I did, then I was off to do this thing. I felt a strange sense of calm, which I'm sure had nothing to do with the margaritas I had been drinking that afternoon.
On the plane, as we climbed higher and higher, the reality began to set in. I'm really doing this thing. I AM doing this. But, seriously, how do I take that first step out into the great unknown? In the end, as with all the other "how's" in my life lately, as long as I focus on the "what", the details handle themselves. There was no time to even think about how that first step would go. I scooted up on my bench with my incredibly good-looking tandem instructor strapped to me, then as we got next to the door, before I even had a chance to look out, he just tipped me sideways and we cartwheeled out of the plane. Well. Ok then. What's done is done. Can't change the past. No control of the future. Might as well enjoy the present. Be in the now.
There was no fear, only trust. I never doubted that parachute would open. In fact, truth be told, I was a little disappointed when it did. That adrenaline rush of hurtling through the sky was indescribable. It didn't feel like I was falling, more like I was flying. When the parachute opened, that's when it felt more like a thrill ride, ironically. The turns and dips we took gave me that roller-coaster feeling in the pit of my stomach, which I love. I even got to take control and "drive" the parachute. At this point, fear was no longer in control of where I was going. I was. When I later mentioned this to my friend Sandiee, I called the tandem instructor my guide, not even realizing how meaningful that was, until she said, "Your guide always knows what's best for you." Wow. That's when I knew. I did so much more than jump out of a plane here. I allowed myself to finally understand the true meaning of how it feels to Let Go.
According to Dr. Wayne Dyer, in order to manifest things into your life, you must first FEEL as if they are already a part of your life. How could I attract the art of Letting Go into my life, if I didn't know what it felt like? I had no concept of it. Now. I do. Let's DO this thing!
"I will not die an unlived life." ~Dawna Markova
"It's hard to dance with the devil on your back
So shake him off."
~Florence + The Machine, 'Shake It Out'
Congrats on the skydiving and the realizations that came along with it!!
ReplyDelete