May 21, 2013

When I decided to take this trip, I knew that I would be learning many new things. I'd be getting to know myself in ways I've never done before. I was excited to experience these things and to share stories along the way with new friends. I have been lucky to have met many amazing people so far. Some who will remain lifelong friends, in spite of living on different continents.

What I didn't expect, and maybe I should have, was the degree of competition on the trail. The race for the beds which leads people to leave one bed before the rising of the sun, sprinting on to the next one with no time to stop and smell the roses, or even to take a picture or two. The competition to see who can walk the farthest or the fastest which leads to the same conversation each night at dinner, over and over again. "How far did you make it today? When and where did you start your Camino? When do you plan to finish?"

All of these questions leave me feeling a little empty. Not because I'll never even be close to winning any competitions based on these criteria, but because my answers to these questions come from a completely different place.

How far did I make it today? Well today, I didn't make it very far at all in terms of kilometers. But I did soar to the heavens with my visit to the Burgos Cathedral. I also learned some very valuable lessons about myself. I learned that I am not somehow less worthy of making it to Santiago, simply because I want to slow down and enjoy myself along the way. I learned that my way of living, putting the enjoyment of the beauty of life ahead of the rat race is ok. For me. Not for everyone. I learned to like that about myself. So how far did I make it today? I made it a very long way.

Where did I start my Camino? I think I'd get some strange looks if I said, truthfully, "I'm not sure yet." What do you mean you're not sure? Did you forget already? No. I'm not sure, because my Camino began long before I arrived here in Europe. Every time I think I've figured out the beginning of this journey, I remember something further back in time that was also instrumental in leading me here. My entire life seems to have led me down a path that put me right here, right now. So where did I start my Camino? I have no idea, but it doesn't really matter. I'm here now.

When do I plan to finish? I don't. I plan to bring the life lessons I am learning here in Spain everywhere I go. I never plan to finish my Camino. Santiago is not the end for me. It is just the beginning of a new chapter. So when do I plan to finish my Camino? Does it mean I "win" the competition if I say I plan to walk it for the rest of my life?

I talked to my "Camino coach", Alex, today. He reminded me about the most important thing I am doing here. I am following my Personal Story. Just like the shepherd did in 'The Alchemist'. It's MY Personal Story. No one else's. I can't do it wrong. The only way I can do it is exactly perfectly the right way for me.

As the shepherd in the book says, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to be an adventurer. I choose adventurer.